Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I am spending my child support on dildos
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
