but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
