How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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