There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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