Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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