someone get that fucking seahorse.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
