a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
