i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
