I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
