When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
