check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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