Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
