i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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