True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
