I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
