the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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