man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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