mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
