We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
you never un-have a 4some
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
