I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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