So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
