Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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