it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
