So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
