I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
