My nipple is on Facebook.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Drunk is a universal language darling
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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