i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
