You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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