Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
