is your mom at the bar?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
