Walk of Shame. In a state park.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Randomize
