some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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