I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
