you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
