i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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