if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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