Your tits are I can't wait for
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
