Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
