You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
