I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
