i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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