Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
