Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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