Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
