i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Found the puke drawer
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
