She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
