'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
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