Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
