I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
