Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
