I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
